I must be, without knowing quite how, raising the two of the most nerdy girls around. I don’t mean this in a bad way, I’m a pretty nerdy girl myself. Probably where they get it, actually. Alli has test papers that we have to sign weekly. This week, before I could even see them, she told me, “Mom, I’m sorry to tell you that I got a 95 on one of my pages. But, it was because everyone in the class did it together and we all got the same grade.” Normally she does get 100′s (it’s 2nd grade we’re talking about, pretty easy) but it’s not like we would be disappointed by a 95.
Since school started, Zoey has had two facebook boyfriends. She met each of the these boys at band camp over the summer and exchanged text messages and occasionally they liked each other’s status updates or pictures. All innocent fun. We are thrilled that each of these boys have been from out of town. They never got to actually spend time together or see each other (except at regional band events). Perfect for a 13 year old girl.
I think her methods of breaking up with each one was terrifically hilarious. The first, she said it was just not going to work out because they lived too far apart. Which seemed like it would have been obvious from the start. The second boy was told that she needed to focus more on her studies. That just cracks me up. How much studying does a brilliant 8th grader need to do? It makes me think of the old excuse of, “I would go out tonight, but I have to wash my hair”.
We met some new people this weekend and became reacquainted with some people I haven’t seen in almost 20 years . I wanted to make a good impression because these people are important to someone very important and dear to me. I’ve decided that I’m a little socially awkward. This is all personal perception and we all know that we are our own worse critics. Until I get to know you, I am either quiet in the background probably coming across as stand-offish. Really, I’m trying not to be intrusive. I don’t want to get in the way or step on anyone’s toes. When I do start talking, I try too hard. Making jokes that are probably corny sometimes teasing others. I think it’s playful, but I’ve decided that if someone doesn’t know me, they may think I am just mean. I hope that’s not the case.
I suppose this could just be a special filter. If I’m supposed to connect with someone they will recognize the shy girl by the wall and not see her as snobbish. They will get the goofy jokes and not be offended by the words that pop out of my mouth before the brain filters them. Instead they will laugh along, which I hope this weekend is what happened.
My friend Cindy is standing a vigil right now. She says she isn’t strong, but I think she is incredibly tough. When you marry someone you say the words, “In sickness and health” and “until death do us part” but you don’t imagine that these things will happen until you are old, really old, in your 90′s or 100′s. You don’t imagine that one day you will be told one of you has x amount of days to live and then, the end of those days comes around. It has to suck in the most horrible way possible.
While she is standing her vigil, I’ll be thinking of her husband Chris. The fun we had when we really got to spend some time together at Greg’s Crawfish boil. The intelligent and thoughtful and humorous blog and facebook discussions we had like not knowing about TedTalks and Ken Robinson until he shared them.
Here we are getting ready to help Cindy cross off an item on one of her life lists. They had just pulled up and we were in attack mode with our water balloons.
I have no pictures of the actual water balloon fight, did not want to damage the precious camera!
One of my favorite pictures from the whole weekend. It just sums up everything I love about those two.
I posted this to some friends on facebook a few weeks ago, but it still stands today. This is my prayer for them and I thought I would ask you all to keep them in your thoughts and prayers too. Thank you all.
Dear Lord, please wrap your comforting arms around them. Let them find strength to face the coming challenges. Let them know they are loved and be able to find joy in the time they have. Thank your for your love and support when ours isn’t enough. Amen.
It’s time to start blogging again. Life you know? We’ve been doing things, I just haven’t taken the time to sit and write about them. That teenage boy? So much better. Maybe because we have all learned better communication skills. Maybe because I just had to learn that even though things are really important to me, I just had to let them go. There were some heart to hearts, and much hand throwing in the air and someone was grounded for a really long period of time. It comes down to this: Either he will care about it or he won’t, but I can’t force him.
It is hard because I want him to succeed in life. To have goals and strive for them, to know that if he wants scholarships he has to care about his grades now or it will be much harder for him in the long run. I know this from experience. I just have to keep remembering that my goals are not his goals, that people (even/especially teenagers) have to make their own decisions and learn the lessons that go along with those decisions. Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean we will be accepting of sub par grades or really crappy attitudes or other terrible stuff that could happen, it just means we’re going about things differently.
For now, I think we’ve found a good groove.
I have a few posts written from the past few months, I just haven’t actually posted them. They keep sitting on the back burner waiting for pictures or more words to go along with them. Some are snippets of ideas that I don’t want to get lost forever. Some are fully written posts that I don’t want to post out of order. Really, I guess it doesn’t matter much. Posts don’t have to be perfect.
Alli says a bunch of insightful or silly or just plain cute things. I need to remember to write them down for posterity’s sake. Some stuff, it just makes you scratch your head and wonder where the heck she came up with it.
Yesterday we had some time to kill before picking Zoey up from practice so walked around CVS a little. As we were walking down the shampoo aisle, Alli decided she needed to smell all of them. Then she decided to smell the two she liked together.
“Mom. You have got to smell these two, it smells like a blessing.”
How does someone know what a blessing smells like? and, it’s not like we walk around blessing each other or being blessed (except for sneezes).
I don’t know what is up today but I am a complete basket case. Okay, I take that back. Really, I do know what is going on. Three things.
Today, one of my friends is moving to be closer to the guy she loves. She’s my work friend who sits upstairs with me. The one who I vent with and turn to for advice. Even though she’s still working for this company and we’ll be talking through IM, it won’t be the same as seeing her face every day. I’m going to miss her.
Tomorrow I get another year added on to those I have already survived. That in itself isn’t a terrible thing. In fact I’m pretty pleased with where I am in life. I’ve got a guy I love and who loves me back, kids who are great. I’m in good health. We aren’t rich but we aren’t broke. Something about those years that end in the 7′s and 2′s.
Then on Sunday…. my baby girl turns 8. Not a baby at all anymore. Not even a little kid. Eight years old. I just can’t believe it.
Reading this… made me tear up. What’s the deal? I’m not usually so emotional.
In six months, this kid is going to get his drivers permit and we are going to put him behind the wheel of a car. What a crazy world we live in where we let people start driving when they are in the middle of the most irrational points of their lives. When sometimes they don’t care what you have to say and aren’t going to listen at all. This especially happens, at least for us, when our kids are stressed out. You know, like they will be when learning how to drive.
Ugh to the hormones that make teenagers bipolar. Sometimes they are great, life is wonderful, everyone and everything makes them happy. Other times the world is completely against them. If I take a guess, I would say that happiness (or at least contentment) abounds about 70% of the time. They are awesome to be around because they are smart, clever, interesting and entertaining. That other 30%? Insane, I think. Worked up over things that would not normally bother them. Angry when they don’t get their way. Irrationality triggered by hormones, hunger and just needing some sleep.
Something that has stuck with me from one of those books I mentioned in a different post is just to laugh off almost everything. Not laughing to make fun of the person, that just causes feelings to be even more hurt. Instead, take a step back and find humor in the situation. Realize that teenagers all over the world are acting the same way. Misery really does love company. Talking with other parents with children the same ages and hearing similar stories (or seeing them act the same way) helps us know that we are not alone.